you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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