I think my vagina is haunted
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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