is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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