so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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