It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize