I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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