i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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