Your tits are I can't wait for
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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