If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
