Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
