Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
