I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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