sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
