Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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