Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
