Jerry, you need to find god
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
