I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
