oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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