That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
