I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
