One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You don't make any sense
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