I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
