Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
