U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Randomize
