idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
