worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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