im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
