the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
