I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
