I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
