did you get engaged???
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
