I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
