I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i drank out of a bidet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The uberlube is also flammable
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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