I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
