Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
