last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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