If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
