Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I want her autograph on my taint
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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