if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
