$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
