You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
