Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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