no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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