We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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