so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
