he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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