He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This toilet bowl is my home.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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