do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize