Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
