Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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