Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?