could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?