The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
