My hand turned me down
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
