Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
