dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
