I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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