Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
be right there i have to get my cape
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
