i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Less talking, more tequila
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
