her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
