In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
