This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
