My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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