can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize