i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
