we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize