pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My ass is underappreciated
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How naked do you want me to be?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
