The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
